Collapse Into Now

       REM has done it again; they've created a new addiction for me. I can't get enough of this CD, although I should probably give my brother his back and go buy my own. The masterpiece was released on March 7, 2011. The songs are as follows:
1. Discoverer
2. All the Best
3. Uberlin
4. Oh My Heart
5. It Happened Today
6. Every Day is Yours to Win
7. Mine Smell Like Honey
8. Walk it Back
9. Alligator_Aviator_Autopilot_Antimatter
10. That Someone is You
11. Me, Marlon Brando, Marlon Brando and I
12. Blue
The album was recorded in four cities; Berlin, Nashville, New Orleans, and Portland. It features Patti Smith, Eddie Vedder, Peaches, Lenny Kaye, and Joel Gibb.  The feel of it is very light and soulful with some really catchy lyrics and music. I love REM to begin with and this whole album reminds me of "World Leader Pretend" by them. A really nice mellow CD to check out if you're into alternative. If you like heavier stuff check out Accelerate and you won't be disappointed. It's not metal but it's pretty intense. That's right folks, REM is back in action.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZITh-XIikgI&feature=channel_video_title

Dealing with Death

            Eventually everyone has to deal with death. Sometimes sooner than expected, but it will come about. My first real encounter with death happened on Friday, the 8^th of April, in 2011. I was at school, helping count the paper cranes to ship off to Amazon when my brother called me. Now, I’d known my grandpa was in the hospital, and I’d wanted to go see him but I’d been told to go to school. And then my brother called. I could tell from his tone, and the fact he was calling me at 3pm, that it had happened. He gets off work at seven, typically, so I knew the news was going to be bad. I told my teacher that I had to leave and rushed home to have my fears confirmed. My grandpa was dead.

            I instantly began to cry when they said that, which sort of surprised me because I’m not the instant reaction type. I normally have a period of shock, and then get upset about it later but it hit me hard. I guess I’d had the shock part out of the way on the car ride home or something. But anyway I was devastated.

            I wouldn’t say we were particularly close, not like he was a best friend sort of grandpa but he was still special. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to know him when he was younger, about as young as my parents, as my brothers did. When I was born he was already retired and he owned a wood shop. I used to love to wander through that wood shop with my cousins. It was in a small town, so small it didn’t have a grocery store, but it had this shop. It was always a mess, everything coated in sawdust but we loved it. We loved to look at the stuff he made, the many toys he gave us, and the tools he used. We loved exploring the back of his shop, filled with all sorts of things, but mostly wood and cats. We liked to try and pet the cats, although they usually ran away. It was fun, and I used to love visiting them.

            They had a nice old house not too far from Grandpa’s shop. They always had a dog, tons of toys, and a couple cats of their own so I liked visiting there more than visiting my other grandparents because there were all sorts of animals to play with and a small town to explore. I was always an outdoorsy kid.

            I have a few favorites that he made when I was younger. The first and utmost is a wooden ferris wheel that turned by battery power. That thing was beautiful. It was extremely ornate, although I never saw it painted. The next is my cedar chest. It’s a hope chest, made of cedar wood, which has a very distinct, but nice, smell. It’s huge and I keep lots of things in it.

            But eventually they couldn’t keep up with their old house and we had to move them to old folk friendly apartments on the other end of the small town. Grandpa still kept up his shop for a while there and we still liked to play with their little dog, Teddy (a Yorkshire terrier).

            And then Teddy died and Grandpa had to sell his shop because he just couldn’t make things like he used to, which was very sad. He had to have more help from my dad which was also sad because he, like my dad, was a very independent sort of person who normally helped others rather than being helped. He was a great person, very generous, who’d made many things to help out his community. But they got a new dog and life went on for a while longer.

            Then they had to move to a nursing home and they couldn’t keep the dog, but they at least got to stay together. I don’t like the nursing home too much and I don’t think Grandpa did either. He just seemed so sad; my last memory was of him nearly crying when the conversation turned to the disaster in Japan. (He’d served in the military over in that part of Japan). And then, shortly after that he went to the hospital where he died of pneumonia. I didn’t get to say an official goodbye, but I think he knew we all loved him. He’d been sick before and everyone had gone to see him and tell him how much we cared, so I think he knew that. He’s sorely missed; there were many sad folks at his funeral. I was happy to know how many people cared about us, and my friends really stepped up to help me through all of this. It still makes me sad, but I’ve mostly accepted it. He was a good man, and we’ll never forget him.

RIP Oswald (Chris) T. Christensen.

A Sense of Accomplishment

My school, altogether, has made 1,135 paper cranes to ship off to Amazon.com, from which they will donate $2 per crane or $2,270 to the Japan relief efforts. It’s not much as far as disaster relief costs, but it’s something to be proud of given we still have t-shirt sales to tally up. I made over 200 of those myself, and have made many more to sell to raise extra money, which has helped some I suppose.

            I’ve been asked why do I want to help, and I can’t come up with a direct answer. I have been interested in Japanese culture since Seventh grade and I have become involved with it. I hosted a girl from Japan last year from a group of 15 Japanese kids. We became good friends over the two weeks she stayed here, and I made many friends in that group. I’m going to Japan this year, which I’ve been saving for four years to do. I’m president of the Japanese club. I don’t know, because of this connection and simply because they need help, is why I want to help. I’ve helped raise money for Haiti and Breast Cancer Research too, and it’s mostly because they need help and I want to help out the world and my community. I like helping people, it makes me feel good about myself. Maybe that’s a little selfish, as Ayn Rand would say, but I think that if the results create something good then who cares how selfish it was?

Learn how to make a crane:
http://monkey.org/~aidan/origami/crane/

April 15th Day of Silence

      Today marks the Day of Silence (http://www.dayofsilence.org/) an annual event to raise awareness of hate crimes against homosexuals and their families. As you probably guessed, I am participating. I am doing my best to be as silent as possible for the day to represent the cause which I strongly believe in.
     But why do I believe in it? Well, I wasn't raised around any sort of homosexuality. My parents are straight, and so is everyone I know in my family. I wouldn't say anyone in my family has anything against homosexuals they just aren't homosexuals. But anyway, not much exposure as a child. I'm not very religious, I believe in God, but I do not believe very strongly in the Institution of God. I've never picked a specific branch of Christianity although I consider myself more or less Christian. I don't go to church every Sunday or even remotely frequently. I'm a middle class citizen without any bells and whistles you could say. My family brought me up to be polite and my schools exposed me to other races, sexualities, and beliefs. I suppose I was taught in school, mostly in Language Arts classes that equality is the American ideal. Perhaps I was taught that, but I can find no reason to refute it.
        I have argued before about gay marriage. I have shown my support, and wished that people could just let it go. Let go of these superstitions and indignations. COEXIST. That's my goal. I want to coexist with the people of the world. I don't have to always like or support them, I just have to live my life and stop trying to interfere in their way of life. If you want to be against homosexuals, fine, you don't have to support the idea, you just have to let them live their lives and receive all the benefits of being citizens of the United States of America. It just irks me when people refuse to get along. I could argue for hours about it, and get really upset because I can't help but think what if it were me? I'm not a lesbian, but what if I was? This would all be targeted at me for something that I can't even help. It's as bad as racism. It's as bad as the persecution of Jews, although the violence has no where reached that point. Stop the hate, or at least keep it to yourself.

They Need Us

            We never thought it could be possible. A country that easily rivals the USA in both wealth and industrial power is actually starving. There are rations. There are children without food and homes. They actually do need our help!

            I understand that tuition costs and other costs are rising but can you honestly not spare one dollar? If everyone in my school donated at least a dollar we’d have almost $2000 right there. If they donated two it’d be almost $4000.  That’s a huge difference for chump change.

            The nuclear situation, despite having dropped out of most of our news, is still a serious concern for the country. Just recently they got power to the pumps at the nuclear reactors but they are still having major issues stabilizing some of the plants. Two of five have been successfully stabilized but there is still a big concern with radiation.

            After shocks continue to rake the areas around Sendai, Japan, frightening people living in schools and stadiums. People are trying to survive on little water, none to bathe with, and very little food. They have no homes left and they have little means of getting new ones. The roads leading there are devastated and debris coats fields just outside of Sendai. The tsunami washed everything away. There are thousands of people found dead already, and thousands more unaccounted for. It will be years before normalcy finds most of the people in these areas again.

            What would you do? What if your home and all your possessions were just gone? I know some people around here who know what that’s like. They need our help, and we can make a big difference even by donating just a little. Think about your family, what if it was them affected and there was no one who’d spare a dollar for them? We can make a difference even if everyone only contributes a little.

Being an Adult

                Being the adult in a situation is knowing when to hold your tongue. It’s fighting your deepest darkest urges to scream at someone because you know they feel bad about what they did. And no, being an adult isn’t much fun and it is very difficult which is why people appreciate it when you handle things like an adult.

                Today my mom made me the angriest she’s made me in a very long time, perhaps the angriest she’s ever made me. We recently adopted my grandparent’s dog, a problem pooch, because they had to go into a nursing home (which wouldn’t allow pets). Nobody wanted the super energetic, super needy, really untrained, five year old, tiny dog, no matter how cute he was. A two year old would have been less of a handful to be honest, but we took him in and decided to try and live with him.

                We may have been able to but no matter how many times we took him out he’d still do his business in the house. It was frustrating and it wasn’t something that our family could deal with. For one thing my dad hates dogs, for another my mom is working hard on her studies for college, and for another I’m either working, at school, or with friends. Nobody had time for that needy of a dog. Not to mention the obvious house broken issue.

                So finally, while I was at work, she gave him away. That in itself didn’t bother me, it was that she gave him to a shelter. I could have roared with fury. I hate the thought of animals ever having to go to a shelter. How can they be “humane” if they will euthanize animals that can’t be adopted? I guess I just can’t bring myself to condone it. I can understand that they get full and everything but can’t something else be done? Perfectly healthy animals just die, every day, because people decide they don’t want them. There’s something messed up and disgusting about that. What if we did that with orphans? Oh this one hasn’t been adopted in a month, better kill them because apparently no one wants them. Isn’t that terrible? Now I understand, humans aren’t on the same level as animals but can we really say this is ok? I guess I don’t know, but I personally don’t believe in it. I’ll never let any animal that I have a say in face that fate. I don’t care what others say I won’t let it happen.

                Part of me hates her for that decision, hates that she couldn’t tough it out just a little bit longer until I could find something else. Part of me hates that she wouldn’t drive the two hours to give him to one that wouldn’t kill him if he wasn’t adopted in a month. But another part of me knows just how stressed she’s been lately and that’s the part that holds my tongue. I love my mother, I really do, and though I’m really, really angry with her about this I will hold my tongue. If she reads this I hope it’ll be years later when she’s not as upset. When I’m not as upset. For now all I can do is pray someone will love him even more than I do, and will have the patience to try and train him that we didn’t. My family is pretty amazing but some of our downfalls are the biggest that anyone could have. And of those I think a lack of patience is the biggest downfall we have. Oh if only she just could have waited a little longer…I would have worked things out.

                I had a plan. A friend of mine knew of a place that takes in stray dogs and finds them homes. They’re not an official shelter, but they’re professional and they won’t euthanize the pets, which as I’ve said I just can’t stand the idea. I wanted to look into these folks and see if something couldn’t be done. Something probably still could be done, if only they’d let me. I wanted rid of the dog too but I wanted it to be better than this. I understood it was hard but if she’d just LISTENED to me.

                I don’t mean to sound self-righteous, but just because I don’t have the years of experience that you have doesn’t mean that my words are meaningless. You should listen to young people, even if what they’re saying is stupid or overly critical. Sure, maybe they don’t actually mean it, but sometimes not listening to them is all it takes. Sometimes we’re pushed to the limit too, and we begin to consider things that we shouldn’t. If you won’t listen to us then who will? If you can see a problem you can prevent it. Your life is frustrating, but so is ours. If you look back when you’ll realize that not every day was the day you rode your bike for the first time, or spending time with friends, or collecting cans for penny candies. Some of that time was spent in your room, sobbing in anguish because you felt alone. And sure, maybe the feeling was unjustified, and maybe you weren’t really alone but that doesn’t change the seriousness of the situation. Your feelings were very real, as are ours, if misguided. Never forget that. Always try to remember what it was like being old, just as we try to be adults too. I’m not perfect at it, and sometimes I do the wrong thing. I try my best though, and I work hard. But please, give my words some weight and maybe I’ll learn not to throw them around so carelessly.

"Jeez Brian...I Don't Know What to Say..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNCzAc_kpbQ


My friend posted this on Facebook the other day and I couldn't believe my eyes. That...there's nothing you can say to that. You just knocked over his work of art. He could have made money from that and been famous! Hopefully, the Youtube video will make him famous off of that. That's just unbelievable. Gotta say, it was kinda cool watching it go down and Brian's expression was awful. You just feel so bad for him. How could you not?